This is the part that hit me the hardest. Because this quote right here is the part that bigots use, that abusers use, the part that is taught predominantly to white men:
the idea that they somehow are entitled to be listened to, to be given whatever they want.
Other groups in America are capable of abusing others but typically it comes from a different place. It’s not usually about feeling entitled to the body or space of some other person. Oftentimes when a woman or person of color mistreats someone they might be doing so because they were abused, and so now they are passing it on to others. Some do it in reaction to their own angst at being oppressed (ie. the bullied person becoming the bully)
and other such reasons…
but this concept of “entitlement” is most often taught to white people in the United States (and in some other areas of the West.)
Am I lying?
Wal-Mart Wendy, BBQ Becky and a slew of other white women felt the world should come to their demands for justice against black and brown people being in their presence.
George Zimmerman believed he had the authority to follow and attack Trayvon Martin.
and in the testimony of Stark Raving, her attacker believed he was entitled to her body because “he’s a good guy.” right?
This is the teaching that white males receive from their parents and society. They believe they can do any harm they want and the world will simply have to forgive them if they cry enough or apologize. And it is so great to see this conversation being had more and more but it has to continue…
Brock Turner being freed after violently raping a woman is an example of this attitude in society.
The Affluenza teen being freed after killing 4 people while driving drunk, while a black teen was sentenced to 10 years in prison because he defended himself against an attacker (the attacker died due to his injuries) and both teens were the same age and tried by the SAME JUDGE.
All of this is an extension of that entitlement.
It’s also the reason gun reform is still not being managed in the United States… because white men (and many white women) refuse to accept that maybe just maybe they should lose any access to any thing even if it could save lives.
So no this does not mean white men are the only ones who sexually assault others. Obviously not. Every level of melanin and gender is capable and includes some who are guilty of sexual assault and other forms of violence.
I am writing with a focus on this comment about “entitlement” because we have to be clear how PERVASIVE that attitude is among white men and where it comes from:
it is taught at home, school, and in public.
Don’t believe me?
Imagine a short 30 year old Latin woman, a 30 year old black man, a 30 year old white male with blue eyes enter a room together. In that room, there are 10 people. We tell the 10 people to introduce themselves to the director of a business that we are thinking about investing in and that the 2 other people are assistants on the project.
Who do you think most of those 10 people will assume is the director?
Don’t be P.C. Don’t sugar coat it. You already know the initial reaction is to defer to the white male. As a woman, I can attest to how often this has happened.
It’s the reason a corporate admin position is more often given to a tall white male over a woman or any man of color. Even if the women or man of color are more experienced, there are innate biases that have long caused society to assume the white male is entitled to leadership.
